Miles Diner

Fights are not a coincidence when dining or drinking in the small Pennsylvania town of Banshee. This is Amish country. This is Native American land. This is a Neo Nazi rendezvous point. This is a place where the military dumps former soldiers that they wish would stop renewing their contracts. This is exactly one of those towns where if you were the sheriff, you pretty much are wearing a license to kill and even if a Chuck Norris type threatened your turf, you can do as you please and no one will think the wiser.

Whereas passerby’s on the local highway might think Banshee is a town not even worthy enough to stop for gas, these are the communities that make Banshee rich, eclectic, and very much punk.

On the outside, these communities might all have a different code of ethics, morals, values, and worship, but there is one thing in common with all of them, they have to eat. And they dine at a place called Miles Diner. You’ll know the place if you’ve been to Banshee. It’s smack dab in between the Sheriff station and the Cadillac dealership. It’s one of the more modern buildings in this town where if you are not a part of the communities listed above, you have no business being here.

The mayor is responsible for Miles Diner. He doesn’t own it or operate it. But it was his first step to trying to gentrify this small town and rebrand Banshee as something inviting. It wasn’t a bad idea. Usually, in a dying neighborhood, town or block, all it takes is a clean and new ma & pa dining establishment with a chef who has formal fine dining training as his credentials. The Fog City Diner in San Francisco is quietly responsible for the upscale diner scene across the nation. Banshee wanted to have it’s own too.

Miles Diner is modern in terms of its interior. Many windows give it the natural light it needs to keep the place bright. The waitresses add a flare as well. They look like they belong on James Bond’s shoulder. The food is impressive too.

Sure, they have the eggs benedict and Florentine, but it’s actually good. They don’t need to market it with a list of precious and expensive ingredients and spices. If you want to know how they make it, the wait staff will tell you: a muffin, egg, pig, and hollandaise sauce. They mute the fact that the muffin is homemade, the egg is perfectly poached in a swirling vortex rondo done by Lina, the poached egg-making queen of Banshee, and the pig is an in-house cured ham coming from a local Amish purveyor.

Miles Diner’s menu is different than the modern diner. A modern diner has almost a formulaic menu: omelets and French toast with an all-too soggy Brioche bread, a raw oyster bar, a cocktail list, burgers with grass fed meats and farmers market ready produce, a pasta dish here, a fish dish there, and maybe a comfortable “classic” dish like a beef stew or a slice of pie topped with sharp cheddar to broaden the demographic by combining the Yelper with the older person who actually voted or had a say in Miles Diner coming into fruition in the first place.

Miles Diner knows its crowd. It’s not trying to lure the young hipsters in. The owners abstained from getting a liquor license. You can go to The Forge for that, a local distillery that’s a five-minute walk if you exit right as you leave the restaurant. Miles Diner is not a boring place. The menu might seem mundane on the outside. The waitresses appear to be annoyed, running thoughts of what they are doing with their lives in their minds, but Miles Diner is full of entertainment.

There are fights inside Miles Diner. There are fights outside Miles Diner. Sure, the place shares a parking lot with the Sherriff’s office, but that doesn’t stop any of Banshee’s inhabitants from raising hell. There’s sex inside Miles Diner. There’s sex outside Miles Diner. It’s quiet and unobtrusive from meal eating time, but it still goes on. The food and coffee is that damn good.

Many business establishments in Banshee are known for fighting and fornicating. The women know how to fight just as much as the men. Having so many questionable characters living inside the town of Banshee these are called survival skills.

But all of the fine people need their rest three times a day, and that’s over a perfectly crafted Blue Plate Special.

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ATMOSPHERE: Chill and laid back. 30-50 year-old-locals ooh and awe over the wait staff while sipping gourmet ground Joe while savoring a soft scramble and home fries with fresh herbs.

SERVICE: Feisty and good looking. They have a demeanor and bite, but that’s to be expected at a diner. Adds a good feel to it that the customer is wrong and the restaurant is right.

SOUND LEVEL: Quiet except for the occasional brawl. The humping that goes on is mute so customers can eat without being disturbed.

RECOMMENDED:  The trout skin BLT, smoked and cured trout skin that’s fried in a tempura batter and served with a good heaping of Banshee’s own cured bacon, beef steak tomato, and butter lettuce and two large slices of greased up Texas Toast.

DRINKS: Juices, Coffee, Milk, Milk Shakes, Sodas, and Wa

PRICES: $2-$5 for drinks $5-20 for food

OPEN: 7 days a week from 8-8

RESERVATIONS: No

WHEELCHAIR ACCESS: Yes

Wi-Fi: No

Restrooms: Clean and smell like a Bath & Body Works shop

Smoking: No, but customers do it anyway to piss off the wait staff.